The pianist

How bizarre the life is, some times you had the chance to meet people you wouldn’t expect to meet them in your life, Talk to them, or even like them. I used to live in downtown but after moving to quiet area which is near to the University I was so unhappy with the new place I don’t know why.

 I am still emotionally connected to this place; the coffee shops there, the public library, and shopping mall. No matter if, I need to spend thirty minutes to get to my sanctuary, my comfort zone, my first memories place in Canada. I spent my main time reading at the public library or at Starbucks enjoying my coffee or green tea frappuccino recently. He was there, sixty year old, handsome, with completely gray hair. I saw him every time sitting by himself reading newspaper or solving words game in his small book. He always smiling at me and looks comfortable but I always feel that lonesomeness in his eyes.

On Thursday I was there returning from volunteer interview. I stop by starbucks to get my favorite coffee and sit down for few minutes before catching my bus. The moment I was heading to the starbucks sitting area I surprised by the over peopling there. There is no empty spot left! I was standing for a moment figuring out what is my next step would be. He was smiling at me from the first moment I showed up there and then he had the reason to talk to me and asks me if I do not mind sit with him since there was no empty spot left for me. I do not know how to describe this moment but it was not that strange I felt that I was like a present from the sky to him. He wants someone to speak with and because I've tried how hard when you do not have any one to speak with or spend time with. We were talking for two hours in randomized topics, about him and me. He is a pianist working in a hotel playing his music for the hotel's residents. I'm always interested in learning play musical instruments especially piano or the Arabic music instrument "Oud".

As a matter of fact, Saudi Arabia banning learning music or even listen to it, whether in schools or public areas such as coffee shops according to the wahhabi interpretation of Islamic rules. He invited me to listen to him at the hotel lounge on Friday it was like a dream when he starts playing on the piano and I feel like a princess, he was so happy to see me and I felt good about it because I was the reason for some ones happiness in this world.

Embrace your future

I am a big fan of Horoscopes actually. Yet, am not that obsessed person who is not taking any step out of my place befor checking out my horoscope. I was reading today in hotmail website and my luck for today was telling me that it is effictive to move toward your future without keeping an old objects stuck with you.

 

"Discard those items from the past for which you really no longer have use. As much as you like to surround yourself with objects of sentimental value, the time comes when it's necessary to look to the future rather than dwell on the past. The time spent cleaning your home and throwing out extraneous things will release you from the past and allow you to embrace the future"

Its quite true that i have collecting stuff disorder and i dont want to call it hoarder problem its not that worse. I dont know since when i have started that. I have been keeping stuff like, old school exams, advertisements for some programs that i might go to, scrap papers that i used for study one day, news papers and magazinse. Im not sure about the reasons for that it could be for secure feeling or for more controling of things in your life but im sure that its hard.Persons with this problem might experience; anxiety, uncomfortable feeling or even failed attempts to sleep at night.

Im not going to talk about the reatment for this disorder but i want to say that gething rid of useful feelings and stuff not just important to your place but also to your soul, it will gives you the feeling of purity and "every thing under control". Lots of peoples stuck with thier past and dont know what to do about it, so this is the time to do it and live freely.

Childhood memories

      

Here are some photos that i found online, they reminds me in my childhood therefor i post them here... Is it true that we have changed through time?! is it true that our life become more complicated, people become less carefull toward each other and less friendly or it is just becouse i have changed and grow emotionally and physycally and my feeling and understanding for everyting has changed as well.

      

When i was Bill Clinton lol

Leader Test Results

http://similarminds.com/leader.html

when happiness vanished

 How strange for your happiness moments turn upside down immediately. This spring I decided to visit Vancouver for few days after finishing the final exams. It’s very nice city unlike Winnipeg the most things I like is the crowed and noise especially in weekends. I got my results for the three courses for this semester couple days ago and every joy moment vanished and now the all I can see is unclear picture for my life and future for woman in Saudi Arabia. The good news is I passed them all but the sad thing is one of the courses I really did badly on it I didn’t expect this result. Maybe someone said at least you pass them all!! NO.
I’m special student in premaster program and it has been requested from me to have the highest mark to be eligible for the master program but now I’m very worry especially when the professor asks me to set an appointment to discuss the updating in my school performance. My days in Vancouver become boring and I want to come back to Winnipeg very fast to figure out what is going on and look for another solution to continue my study anywhere in Canada.

Lost Memories

Dear God, I know I need long time to achieve what I want to be, or simply what makes me satisfied about my crazy life. I was so sad when I started studying in agricultural collage specifically in foods and nutrition school from a long time ago (about five years ago). I felt that was not my fate! That wasn’t me; end up as a home economic "often fat" teacher in high school somewhere in Saudi Arabia. All makes jokes on home economic teachers with common thoughts. For example, home economic teacher are not in important position "they are silly, love to eat too much, and not sexy at all". Day by day, minutes by minutes in this collage with that voice growing inside my head”you will be something different". In recent years of school I recognized that I’m learning something great. I understand that nutrition have changed my life, I lose about 25 KG from my weight and I really want to change others life through foods and nutrition. I have never imagined that I can travel to Canada for continuing my education but now my prophecy come true. The more time I spend in school the more I feel I’m in the right place.

Thanks



Daughter of Arabia

Tank fish

I was sittingg on my brown couch blaming myself about delaying cleaning my fish tank.

It may live longer if i just move my butt and clean it

the fish will look more healthy ... swim around.

but its too late now I was so busy to do that. Every time i told myself thats ok i will do it later.

the time passing 

the wall clock go Tik Tak Tik Tak Tik Tak

The fish swimming in the bottom of the tank and stuck near the porcelain mermaid sometimes. My heart start beating faster i felt that somthing gonna happen to my sweet fish.

The water was very dirty, cloudy, and fishy. I decided to start cleaning so i asked my brother for some help, once we done cleaning the tank we found the fish died. It was a sad moment for me i couldnt through my fish in the garbage and ask my brother to do that instead.

It is gone because i forgot or delayed to clean the tank of my fish but what if my own tank have not be cleaned for whatever reason. Every person i think in some how living in a fish tank and need to clean it from time to time to get rid of the significant miss that we did every moment. Is it possible to end up like me fish, stuck at the bottom and waiting for help from someone special to do that. That is make me feel scared littel bit.

An old mail

I was reading through my old e-mails today and i found this interesting one. I know its not that funny to post it here but i can tell you how the new home which full of hope and freedome can creat different person.. After sending me this mail she moved to her new home to live as human being working to reach her lost dream in The Lost Land.

"I feel that I want to die today not tomorrow because tomorrow will never come. I waited for my dreems to come true but I think it will never ever do. My application to the universities in Australia were rejected. I'm thinking of going to the USA. (omitted part). It doesn't matter how to live there. Even if I will be alone. I don't want to stay here in Saudi Arabia. I feel that I can't breath my heart will stop beating if I still be here. I don't know how to think and what to do it is hard for me. This life is sucke. I hate my job because I'm dealing with guys who don't respect me as a human been.I feel alone after my sister got married.Our society don't understand being a 26 years old girl who didn't get married. they will deal with her that she made something wrong. Most of men are bad they think that they are acting like God. I need someone to understand me and hold me tite be with me and accepts me for who I am. Is this too much for me? Is it?!

Why the peolpe acting mean? Why?

I want to kill myself. I don't want to live anymore. That's it. Please enough.

I don't want another day to come because I'll suffer alot for being a live.

I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. I don't know why :(

I feel bad right now. I can't think.

:( I'm sorry

I wish you a good life with whom you choose. Try to run to your dreems and try to make them come true.

Bye for ever

God bless you"

No comment.....

Happy belated Christmas in March???!!!

Happy belated Christmas?!!!

According to Alwatan Saudi news paper on Sunday issue, an egyptian peasant arrested by saudi religious police -in northern provience, Haiel- because he decided to  express his happiness about his wife pregnancy after six years of  married so, he rented a place to celebrate this occasion with 200 of his friends, after playing music the police arrived and captured them. Saudi Religious police claimed that he was celebrating christmas @@ What?! are you serious?

I understand those people concedering lestining to music as forbedin act in Islam ( according to thier understanding) but what i dont really understand how they came up with the Christmas in March. 

Shame on them they are trying to restrict people's freedom and destroy every thing beuteful in this country. 

Be aware there in music in there

Be aware there in music in there

This summer there will be a special occasion for the family. My eldest brother will get marred. Unfortunately, I cannot attend the wedding, due to my busyness life as postgraduate student and poor economical condition of me. Therefore, I cannot fly from Canada to Saudi Arabia. I will set and see what is going on through my sisters' mouth, who is going to the wedding and who is not, blah, blah, blah. There is huge arguments down the road every time when some one in the family getting married. People will be divided in three groups: the first one, the people whose want to attend the event, dance, and enjoy DJ, because they said, "this is the way wedding day should be, for having fun. The other group totally opposed with the first group, they think there should not be music in the wedding due to their understanding of Islam. They argue that goes against Islam or their right to be in a highest level of Islam. The last one, will attend the event dance, have fun, and congrats the bride and the groom families and does not matter what is run in there whether, music or Islamic stuff (I do not know what is the name in English). Interestingly, I do not remember anybody -- almost five years ago - saying that she will not be able to attend the wedding day because she doesn't listen to music! I really respect any one choice to listen to music or not but come on! is our ancestors less Muslims than us?! I think its all about our understanding of Islam. Islam it is not a bunch of free spiritual orders. So, go and have fun dance because it's wedding not funeral.

Saudi Lingerie Campaign your support is needed, Are you gonna do your part?!

Arab have said "silence is a sign of acceptance" and you can't image how many people oppressed by that said.Nobody talk then every thing is allright,Nobody complain then everybody is ok. I got this night an E-mail from Saudi woman  campaigner who establesh Saudi Lingerie campaign (Reem Assad) demanding to allow women work on lingerie shops rather than men ... She suggested to continue her campaign with asking for help from in and out of Saudi Arabia by sending a letter to the mother company in the UK whose Saudi Arabian franchise is in key violation of labor laws (in KSA and maybe other countries) to put more pressure on the companies to change thier policies.

" Campaign Supporter: Your Help is needed

(No funding required)

Dear campaign supporter (in and outside Saudi Arabia):

As the campaign progressed and its impact is become more palpable on both the media and public landscape, I would like to apply more pressure on the industry. I am sending a letter to the mother company in the UK whose Saudi Arabian franchise is in key violation of labor laws (in KSA and maybe other countries). Marks & Spencer is an intimate wear haven to many around the world. Saudi shoppers are frequent visitors to its flagship Marble Arch store (London). Unfortunately, its Jeddah (KSA) key Tahlia store is where I was completely embarrassed and harassed as a customer and a woman. In fact, the campaign was inspired in that very place.

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=9276&post=62854&uid=20469931029#post62854

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/b00c07b6-434e-11de-b793-00144feabdc0.html

So, your help is needed are you going to support those who need your voice?! I will.

Thanks for your advice but.......

Thanks for your advice but.......

Billions of people every day, smoking and enjoying their habit without any attention to disgusting pictures posting at the back of the Cigarette pack... They knew it is damage their bodies and their brain but still every morning there is someone blowing smoke and drink his black coffee... every day there is a mother or a husband or even younger brother, asking you to choose your clothes and your hijab properly because you are not wearing it according to the Islamic rules... Millions of obese people dying everyday with all of these nutrition food policies and programs regulated by governments but still the number of obese people are getting higher every year and it is cost the health care system billions of dollars annually.Why nothing change? Why not alot of people quet smoking? why not alot of obese lose some weight?Why?! I do not know if the Hijab example fit with what am going to say, but I really want to say that we cannot fix every thing with giving advices or set such program to get rid of serious problem… I do not know! I was thinking if its help then we do not need to live personal experience…. All what you need to read someone's book or listen to eldest person in your family. I Think advised some one is another way to say I care about you and I want you to have the best, but as I believe its at the same time sending another message about your lack of experience….. However, there is small different between hijab example and the other examples I listed above. I do believe that when it comes to your health it does not only affect you individually but affects the whole community.People should take responsibility to reduce the damege on theirself and on the whole community as well. As example, Obesity. But, when it comes to wearing hijab I do not think that will hurt if you or causing severe problem for the community if some women decided wear it or not it’s a personal choice.

Halal Fast Food

I dont know what i can say and from where i can start i'll just start it . I'm the one who like to eat Fast Food sometimes; burger king, pepperoni pizza from Dominose pizza, Shawarma yummy yummy. I am rarely doing that after moving to Canada because i only eat Halal food and now im stuck with vegetatian food if i decided go out with my friends. At the begining i thought its good to be healthy and avoid this kind of food but come on people need change sometnimes. On Valentines day i went with my sister to the mall it was so boring, nothning to do it seems like every one busy with his own plan for this special day. When it comes to the food i spend too much time thinking about what i can order for dinner; vigie max from subway,cheese lasagnea from Vanellie's, or vegie works from NewYork fries. I know there is som Halal food restaurant in down town ,there is one for Shawarma but it is horrible its not fresh and expensive too. The hard one when i am at the university, sometimes i really dont have time to cook for my lunch. There is no halal food. I think its important to have some choices in their menues cuz there is a lot of Muslim international students there. i know some saudis eat meat and chicken even if it is not slaughtered according to islamic rules but not all of muslims do. I heard from friends of me living in USA there is fast food restaurant selling Halal meal too because in this area there is a lot of muslims anyways i hope somthing change or at leat i can find some alternatives tell this time take care.

Spread love

HAPPY VALENTIN'S DAY

Wish you all happy valentines day.

Enshallah next year i'll spend it with my true love

have fun

The choice of being human

I was remembering my cute cockatiel that I bought in back home. When I graduated from university, I had a lot of free time I've nothing to do but searching for job. Then I decided to get cute parrot with those bright orange patches on chicks. That makes me so busy; feeding, cleaning, and plying with my new pet. I loved to leave it play on my lab, jumping from my shoulder to my head. I had very good moments with my Tweety until my mom told me that I cannot do that any more because of my tow youngest sisters are afraid from the bird flying everywhere. I refused that at the beginning so I decided to do it in my bedroom but eventually I choose not to do because of the miss that happened from the bird flying and spreading feathers everywhere and the birdseeds cover my carpet. My cute cockatiel ends up confined in a cage. Day by day, my cute cockatiel becomes quieter and very awareness to any object that getting close to the cage and sounding like crazy. It was very scary to me. I could not play with it any more nor touch its soft feathers. It is a small bird but I care and feel sorry about it, what if it was a human?!! Living, interacting with other people, loves, and hate…. I believe that everyone has the right to live freely, and having the quality of life. Imagine that somebody controlling your life for any reason, preventing you from living normal life, keeping you isolated from others because they are hold different religion or even keeps you away from opposite sex because they think that going to spoil you and ruin your life or this is against your believes. This is totally crazy but its happen in Saudi Arabia any ways!!


I was reading online in Association for Discussion of National Issues of Saudi Arabia (ADNISA) three weeks ago. There were an article wrote by ADNISA arguing that Saudi should band from travel to the west for study or whatever reasons. ADNISA started the article by talking about the "generation's gap" between elder and younger generation and I do not know how it is related to preventing Saudis from traveling to the West. Unless ADINSA mean that is because of this gap youth Saudis trying to escape the country, maybe this is somehow true. ADINSA also described youth as useless people spending too much time watching "Hollywood movies, Lebanese video clips and playing soccer". Yes, this is the way younger Saudis spend their time. However, most importantly why they are spending too much time on that? In addition, they put all the blame on "media", which is influenced Saudi youth in negative ways from their intensive sexual desire to lifestyle and dress coded. (Jeans and low waist) - Media somehow involved in changing people's life but this is another story- I do not think there is anybody deny what some Saudis have done while they are traveling abroad for any purpose. Some of them caught red-handed or being in trouble because of misbehaving, sexual harassment, and carelessness. I am partially agreed with ADINSA in diagnosis the problem but not in the treatment.

In a country like Saudi Arabia, when most of the population is youth – it is estimated about more than 50% of population are youth - this reality with unemployment higher rate, restricting understanding of Islam, and unreasonable preventing mingling between both sexes in society, works hand in hand to deteriorate Saudi's youth life on many levels. For example, socially, emotionally, and psychologically

Ok let us do not put all the blame on Saudi youth I am not saying that they are not guilty but I believe in (victim - guilty theory) that means nobody 100% victim or 100% guilty. People could be in a particular situation and forced to do what they have done. I do not mean there is somebody forced them but maybe that is happening inattention.

ADINSA thinks that one orientation program that the Saudi government implemented for Saudis who are about leaving to another country for education purpose is capable to educate them and teach them how to well behave respectfully and responsibly in their new life with completely different culture. Again, the writer in a typical thinking trying to put the blame on women, who dressed in someway differently, which, is attracted for Saudi youth.
Importantly, one program or advice cannot change person's mind or values. The solution starts from Saudi Arabia, from the society.

Saudi Arabian needs more than orientation program to solve this miss. They need social revolution to build a new future for all Saudis, women and men side by side.
Allow them to Mingle in a healthy environment with other sex at universities and work places, and build places for entertainment such as Movie Theater, parks, and public libraries.
Teach them that morals comes first before religion or any thing else because religion does not worth any thing without morals and well behaved with other people.
At the end ADINSA, suggest that Saudi government should not send any students abroad for education continuing. Moreover, it is better than that to have good local universities for Saudi students. ADINSA ignored the vary benefits that comes from travels especially for education purpose. For example, learn about new culture, had high quality education, and more importantly let the others know about Saudi culture.
Everyone have the right to travel and have high quality education and do not should anyone band for any reasons.

Have a good weekend

I remembered when my dad bought all my seblings skating shoes and i really wants to learn how to skate but it seems to be defficult to stand up for me due to my wieght hhhh, but i insist to try it and finaly figure out how to stand withowt filling down. This suterday i went to skating at the forks with my sister. i tried to skate but it was different skateing on the ice more harder than using skating shoes, unfortunatily i was so scared to skate and couldnt managed to do it,spent four dolars renting skating shoes for nuthing hhhh but at least i knew how different it is. Wish you all my friends happy week end... Enjoy Winnipeg's winter and dont complain about the weather :)

Breaking the mold

In Canada, it is hardily ever walks in the street without finding at least some people not having any part of thier body percied. Such as, nose, lips, tongue, and most commonly not only in Canada earrings but also everywhere. Body piercing is wide spread trend between young people particularly more than other adult people
It is, I mean body piercing not something new just in contemporary society. Back in history there are some signs prove that body piercing found in previous societies such as Egyptian, Romanian and African. According to who have studied the mummified remains from Egyptian Pyramid, have discovered ear piercing there. Body piercing has been used for many reasons; for symbolizing person's statues and wealthy, for religious or superstitious issue. For example, In Roman society, piercing has another story. Romans were very practical people, and for them piercing server a purpose. More interestingly, they were pierced their nipples not because they looks nice but to signify their strength and virility, even Julius Caesar pierced his nipples to show his strength with his men. More over, Some African tribes they pierce the lip usually the lower one and put a small disk in the hall till it gets wider and wider by using bigger size of disks and this kind of tradition detriment if the women worthy to get marred. I can imagine exactly what going to be happen if woman from Saudi Arabia followed this tradition, obviously no body will conceder her worthy to get marred I think it is a matter of being acceptable in your society.

Some people argues that body piercing in specific parts of the body or face held some meaning or reflect some ones sexuality statues, but the questions is why people want to have body piercing?!!
Body piercing is obviously a way to express yourself, for pleasurablse sexual influences or even to be a unique. As known, younger people do many things to show their self and their rejection for whatever they do not like. It is a great form of rebellion.
Saudi Arabia as an example, body adornment considered to be only for women and for religious or traditions matters not acceptable for men. The most common form for body piercing is earrings and recently nose rings but this kind it is not common. Men are considered to show strength and carelessness about body adornments and fashion stuff. Recently younger men changed their idea about their appearance little bit, but still some of them do not agree with new changes at all and hard for a society like Saudi accommodate with changes even though lip piercing or any trends especially close-minded people.
I determined to break the mold and have my lip pierced before about more than four months because I liked it very much and I thought it is a great way to express myself and be special. As a woman came from country like Saudi Arabia

that would be a huge change for me not in a personal level but if we can say in social level. People there are less likely to accept new issues due to misunderstand. This getting worst, when they attack you without any concerns for your rights to do whatever you think it good for you but not harmful for the others for sure as an adult person. Yes, I know this is a human nature but not when it comes to body piercing but any ways something new not always BAD.
Many of them thought there is a meaning beyond every kind of piercing. For example one of my relative was so scared and telling me that lip piercing just for lesbian!!! That make me laughed I said it just a lip piercing .don't missed every thing up!
when I volunteer at the mosque in my area helping organizing, serving food and to celebrate Eid with muslim community in Canada there is muslim girl keep staring to my lips and smiling. It seems there are something interest her, finally I found her ask me if body piercing or lip piercing Halal OR Haram (An Arabic terms means if it is forbidden according to Islamic rules or not) because she wants her lips pierced but she was afraid to do that?!! I surprisingly shouted: what!!! I do not know why some Muslims related every thing to religion it is just different pretty think I would like to have. Actually I google it just to be in the safe side and ask some of my friends in US and Canada. I found that many people surprised and denied that lip piercing or any kind of piercing used to serve specific purposes in our days such as, bisexuality. It is just for adornment matters.

SA educational system (explanation)

As Saudi student I can tell you from my experience that educational system there mostly depending on receiving the data from (teacher, professor, textbook) and memorize them. This is not completely bad but what make it not useful is accept it as the only way to accomplish success at school or University. For example, when I was in high school I always had low grades in the subjects that request a lot of memorizing like Geography, History, or Religion.

The discussion part wasn't useful too because the teacher just try to finish the questions with the student as fast as she can without pay attention for those who are shy or don’t understand the questions very will. There are many techniques to make the discussion part effective one of them is, put the shy person with easygoing student to encourage shy student participate in the class but unfortunately most of the teachers unprepared very well to deal with those problems in the classroom or maybe they are just don’t care.

To have an acceptance from University in Saudi Arabia you have to have very high score , to know some one who is important position, or having the same believes sometimes .Not because they are need smart students but to reduce the amount of new students at the Universities. As a consequent, many of Saudi students care about their score not their understanding to the information that they receive. When Saudi students move to another country, they will struggle in the first year at University or in postgraduate studies. I used to hate participate in discussion part at school because of my teacher's sarcasm sometimes so It was hard for me when I start this last level in English language program coz they request to do research paper ,group work, and a report papers. It seems like I am running all the time and never catches any thing .But I really enjoy participating in class I remember when I went with my English partner to University class as a guest to talk about my country especially about women there. It was really so nice, the students take time to express their opinions about article they had read before the class and after my speech they start to ask me Q's. Unlike when I was at university the professor come to the class , read the lecture and ask some questions that’s all .I don’t feel like we are related in the real life they pushing students to use the text books without mentioned what happen outside the classroom if its related to our topic. Of course, they request to do research but this is another problem maybe I will talk about it later. I can't determine the reasons for this missy but there is a mix of factors led to that. Like strict understanding to religion, psychological matters in order to manipulate people, or unfaithful from some workers in educational institutions. To describe this dilemma we need books to do that coz its so complicated but the solution in Arab countries need decades to change and that for sure will happen not when the governments want that but when the people realize their problems and strongly want to change it.

I'll Be Back

“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.” Win Borden

What difficulties Saudi Students face??

What defficulties Saudi Student face>>>>

Most of the teachers in school love to make working groups in the class. Moreover, I think its worthless way to encourage each student to participate in class but there is some difficulties faced Saudi students in working groups most of Saudi students do not experience this kind of exercise in their country in boy's schools or girl's schools. Some teachers assuming that if Saudis working together in the same group that will help them a lot to feel more comfortable and cooperate with each other. This is somewhat true if those students come from another country rather than Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia apply the separation policy in every part of the life in schools, hospitals, Universities, Work, and any where you can imagine in order to protect the society from unethical or unacceptable behaviours according to the religious people. Therefore, there is no real contact between men and women in Saudi society and that helps to build a huge wall of distrust, shyness, unhealthy relation ship as human being between them as a consequences.

For me I can control the situation, become more open, and be funny sometimes because that is help a lot not even for me but also for the other side to feel comfortable but still every day, I hear a bunch of stories from my friends who traveled abroad for continuing their study. One of my friends told me that she could not speak in front of Saudi students or any Arab students. I think they still have the old feeling from their countries and maybe they need long time to overcome this problem. All that separation destroys people's skill to communicate with each other and this is just one result of separation.