I do not know what words I can use to draw a clear picture of me. It is not easy to see yourself coverless on the other’s eyes, like walking naked on the street. Yet it is so nice that I have gained the courage while I am in Canada to express myself freely without fear or embarrassing from specific things. With all my oriental restricted inherited culture it was so difficult at the beginning to adjust in the new environment that I luckily moved to for my master study at that time. I was not satisfied with what I have in my life. Of course, I like myself. I remember when I was in grade two maybe I got back from school and angrily asks my mom "why am the only one among my siblings that I have very curly hair"! I did not like it I just want to be like my sisters and other girls in school! I wanted straight hair! I shouted desperately. My mom told me your hair is curly because you inherited that from your dad "with a big smile in her face" and your granny too.
Although, that seems not the answer I was looking for. I disparately asked again if there is any thing we can do to have straight hair. With a grin shining in her face, "my mom replays" ok, you will if I exchanged my HUSBAN your DAD with somebody have straight hair.
I woke up next morning wondering if my mom does what she promised me to do yesterday, to have that nice straight hair. When I ask her next morning when she is going to find new dad for us?! she told me in disbelieved tone "are you still thinking about it ooh"! I was joking honey I cannot do it because I love your dad and I love you the way you look and it wont change anything anyways if I do so. That doesn’t help much but over the time, I learned that appearance sometimes has not much to do with personality. Now I really like the way I look and no matter if, my hair looks like Einstein when I get up in the morning.
Almost after eighteen years, I realize that there are many things annoying more than the kink in my hair; there is a lot of things I could not accept as normal things and go with the flow. I did not accept the idea being treated differently because of my sex. GIRLS HAVE TO HELP THIER MOMS DOING HOUSEHOLD WORK, THEY DONT HAVE TO LAOUGH OUTLOUD IN PUBLIC PLACES, NO BIKING NO FRIENDS VISITS AND STAY OVER, NO, NO, NO AND LONG LIST OF NO’S THINGS. Interestingly, I was thinking the list of no things would shrink over the time as I become adult but I wasn't right!